Ahmad’s Journal

Holiday is coming! Holiday is coming! Ten points if you remember that rhyme from primary school. While the holiday hype might not be what it was back then, there is still plenty to be excited about. First, 2024 – which has felt like three years long – is finally coming to a close. Hallelujah? Hallelujah. […]

Two things have been made abundantly clear by 2024. First, things can, in fact, get worse. Second, if you have any faith in the national electricity grid, you might as well go and start mopping the ocean since you have so much spare energy. The year has been hard. Let’s not lie or front. From […]

Have you ever wanted to set your whole closet on fire? To just light a match and watch everything catch and burn because what’s the point of having clothes that don’t fit the vibe you want? You might as well go naked. Apart from public nudity being a crime, it’s also very razz, so, chill […]

Let’s call a spade a spade. Nigerian laws are technically secular, but Nigerians themselves are very religious people. Did we lie? According to this 2021 paper, most Nigerians are either Christian or Muslim, and traditional worship sharply declined in the early to mid-1900s. It also predicts that “the Muslim-identified population is likely on track to […]

In Nigeria’s hard and arid emotional landscape, a delicate flower blooms – radiant, wide-petaled, and resilient. It’s kuku only love that could inspire such fancy language from us anyway. If you’ve been with us for some time now, you might remember some of our other pieces centring romance – from Love in Japa, to Situationships […]

Let’s not lie to ourselves, It’s like the Nigerian economy is the weapon fashioned against us. And we don’t want to say it’s prospering o, but… It is well. If you’ve been living under a rock – we don’t blame you, rent is quite costly – here are some quick stats to get you off […]

If you grew up in Nigeria, you’re probably aware of a simple path. Your parents have you, and during your naming ceremony – over the hushed tones of your aunty’s husband trying to woo a random girl while his wife, unknowing and steadfast in her wifely duty, is busy cutting up the meat on his […]

To be clear, a fat bunda is the focus of Damilare Kuku’s second book, Only Big Bumbum Matters Tomorrow – I mean, it’s in the name – but it definitely cuts into issues deeper than cosmetic concerns. Nearly All The Men In Lagos Are Mad, her first book, was a collection of short stories centring […]

There comes a point in every young adult’s life where you realise that apart from being your parents’ child, you’re your own person. Maybe you realise that you want to start dipping your bread in tea, even though your parents are vehemently against it, even though they plead with you not to go down this […]

Everyone knows how relationships are supposed to go. You meet someone, compare your madness to their own, and then decide if you want to be doing “Good Morning Baby” and “You didn’t call me before you slept” with them. This is also when you change their name in your phone from the one their mother […]