If there is anything we like, it’s a good time.

Now, if there’s anything we love, it’s a good time on a budget.

Ammirite, folks?

Few things compare to the supreme joy you feel at the end of a long, fun day out with friends, and you realise poverty hasn’t set up camp in your bank app.

The euphoria when you become a living testament to the fact that you can, in fact, have it all – a good time, cool pics for Instagram, and money left in your account.

We all know Abuja is expensive, and some might argue it’s for good reason. It’s widely considered Nigeria’s best-planned city, and it’s where the FCT is – the country’s capital.

Put some respect on her name, ko easy.

This prestige also means that it’s a bit harder than normal to ball on a budget, as we’d say.

But.

That doesn’t mean it’s impossible.

One thing about us? We’ll give you the hacks, the places, and even the money (just kidding about this one, sha) to have a good time.

So, tight your troziz, we’re about to show you how to live your Abuja daydreams without the nightmare of poverty.

First of all, The Weekender Toolkit

What kind of people would we be, sending you into the streets without means to fend for yourself?

We’ve pulled together some hacks that should make your Abuja Weekend easier on your wallet.

• Pregame at home: Abuja cocktails are notoriously pricey, and it’s not unheard of to see drinks for ₦10k and more on the menu (for a glass).

We say, don’t let this ruin your fun. Get a decent bottle of vodka or gin for about ₦5k from Jumia or Mano, split it amongst your friends (because what do you mean you’re taking the town alone… ), get a buzz going, and step out.

They won’t know what hit them, the collective swagger or your friend’s suspiciously heavy handbag.

• Try new delivery services: Abuja has a lot of services to order from. Whether it’s food, electronics, clothes… it’s all possible.

Most of them also have apps that offer free delivery/discounts for first-timers. The Dodo Pizza app gives users a free pizza with their first order, and Chowdeck is also notorious for throwing discount codes at their users, so, we recommend.

• More discounts: Some event organisers partner with apps to offer tickets at discounted prices as long as you buy on said app. Apps like DiD allow you to find and buy tickets to popular events in the city for a discounted price.

Just make sure you keep an eye on the event flyer, they usually indicate there.

• Budget and plan for fun: We know, it’s the least exciting part of being a roadman, but c’mon.

Let’s be practical.

If possible, note down the places you want to go to that weekend, get ticket/entry prices, look through menus, know transport costs, and then budget accordingly.

Nothing crushes fun more than an empty wallet.

Now, to the main event…

For the Party-goers

Motion: This is one of those events you go to if you want to forget that you’re in Nigeria and live out your rave-abroad dreams. Happening monthly, think classic red, blue and green strobe lighting, and bumping, butterfly-inducing techno, house and dance club music.

 
The electric moments at Motion. Photo Credit ( /motionabuja)

Like most raves, people go there to get down and move (hence the name, Motion), so if you’re the standing-in-the-corner-pseudo-mysterious type, please, exit stage left.

Thank you.

Tickets cost from ₦5k-₦7k but drinks prices vary as it’s a different venue each time (which keeps things fresh, in our opinion). For best results we suggest pregaming at home – as we mentioned in the toolkit section above.

ConceptFridays: Is there anything better than partying in the clouds?

We think not, dear.

ConceptFridays takes partying a step up – literally – with its weekly event on the rooftop experience that is Jake’s Club at Silverbird, Abuja.

They bring around a myriad of DJs, both homegrown and international, so it’s really a sonic experience – they literally call it an “Alternative Music Experience” – with people (again, Nigerian and not) gathered to just enjoy good music and have a blast.

 
The vibe at ConceptFridays. Photo Credit ( /conceptfridays_)

It’s free to attend, and their tequila shots are half off from 6 pm.

Drink hack: Jake’s can be a tad bit pricey, so if you don’t want to pregame at home, a good way to get a buzz going for cheap is to order the iced tea – around ₦3500 – then two or three tequila shots separately (which are half off so they’re about ₦2k each) and voila, your own cocktail for just over ₦7k.

Raise am raise am raise am!

For the Foodies…

Village Chief: Maybe to start the night (or lunch, who knows what your schedule is) you’re looking for a quick, affordable bang for your ₦aira, Village Chief ticks those boxes.

It’s in Wuse, so you can’t miss it, and it has some of the most affordable traditional food in town. Native rice o, palm wine o, even nkwobi and a banging jollof, their stuff is pretty good.

 
Village Chief. Photo Credit ( /villagechief_abj)

True to the name, the vibes are ethnic and earthy, with wooden tables, chairs, and raffia lamps.

You can check out their menu on Instagram, but ₦5k-₦10k is enough to feed one person as long as you’re not a werewolf.

This is one of the few places in Abuja you can get a proper cocktail for ₦4500, so, do with that info what you will.

Also, their palm wine? Chef’s kiss.

It’s ₦800 per cup, and ₦3200 for a gourd – essentially four cups.

The enjoyment is much.

Huse’s Cafe: A hidden gem. An icon. A star.

This place has some of the best pasta you can get for the price (from ₦5k) and it’s worth it and more. Our source was even reluctant to share it, so you know it’s hot.

 
Huse’s Cafe. Photo Credit ( /cafe_huse)

Nestled away from the city and in the quiet Apo resettlement, Huse’s is perfect for a cute aesthetic lunch and it won’t try to break your bank in the process – they also do deliveries, so even if you’re lazy, they’ve got you.

We recommend their Chicken Penne Arrabbiata pasta (₦ 6k) and their Deluxe Beef Burger (₦4750). Check out the menu on their Instagram too.

 
Huse’s Cafe. Photo Credit ( /cafe_huse)

Honourable mentions: Gburger (amazing burgers) and Habil Cafe (quiet and serene with a great breakfast selection, also, the mint lemonade? Yes.)

If you want to touch grass

Thaoutsidaz: We always talk about being “outside”, as per having a good time, but what about actually being outside as in, in nature?

Many might not know this, but Abuja has some pretty nice hiking trails, and Thaoutsidaz is a hiking group that is determined to show them off. They’re a group (with guides) that explores the more earthy areas of the otherwise prim federal capital.

 
Thaoutsidaz. Photo Credit ( /tha_outsidaz)

For a monthly subscription of ₦500, you could join them whenever you’re in town. At the very least, you’ll meet some new people and take beautiful pictures.

Just make sure you carry water and snacks, there are no Chicken Republics atop hills.

Jabi Lake: This man-made lake is one of the only bodies of water in the city, so, it had to make the list.

It’s great if you want to get a feel of nature while being landlocked, and it has a park attached to it where you can run, walk or go for picnics with friends.

We’ll be honest, it’s not that well maintained (are we surprised?) but it has its moments. It’s also free to enter, so that’s a plus.

Get your friends, order food, bring drinks, and grab a mat, isn’t that what life is about?

For the Art Heads

Mambaah Cafe: We know you’re probably thinking “A cafe?” and our response is “Can’t you wait?”.

It’s a beautiful spot in Maitama (one of the wealthiest districts in Abuja) covered in local art. From the seating to the walls, light fixtures, and even their clay plates, it’s all art.

As you can imagine, pictures here bang. Just saying.

Mambaah Cafe. Photo Credit ( /mambaahcafe)

Their food is also pretty affordable – ₦10k should get you moderately filled up – and they host fun activities like paint and sips, art exhibitions, and even open mics, so it’s a feast for your eyes and stomach.

On top of all this, they’re also an excellent workspace with special menus for students and creatives.

Imagine you’re there working on your laptop, surrounded by art and sipping their icy zobo (its ₦1500).

Maybe capitalism isn’t so bad after all.

Windsor Art Gallery: There are many art galleries in Abuja, some worth the hype and others, not so much.

Windsor sits firmly in the former. It’s a contemporary art gallery with branches in Lagos and Abidjan. They feature solo exhibitions, “Art of the Month” viewings, and the lighting?

Stunning.

 
Windsor Gallery. Photo Credit ( /windsor.gallery_abuja)

With exhibitions from artists like Pascal Konan and Moyosore Jolaolu and conferences with panellists like Aisha Augie (Creative Artist of the Year at the 2011 The Future Awards), Windsor Art Gallery is kinda art head heaven.

Check out their calendar for May on Insta and see what they’ll be up to.

See you there?

Honourable mentions are Retro Africa in Asokoro and Thought Pyramid Art Gallery (₦2k for entry. They are featured in our “How to look rich while battling poverty” article).

To wrap it up…

Now you know where to go, and how much you’ll be spending. Hopefully, your village people aren’t after you, so you can take the time to enjoy the sights.

All that’s left is The Abuja Weekender Index of the places, things we’ve mentioned, and more.

Something something about the cow that keeps on giving, abi?

The Abuja Weekender Index

Oya, be honest, we ate this abi?

You don’t need to form, jare, it’s fine.

So, on your next trip to Abuja, which one of our recommendations will you be taking? Or if you know some spots we didn’t mention here (contrary to popular belief, we don’t know everything), why don’t you tell us in the comments?