Disclaimer: This article is unaffiliated with Moeshen, no part of it is sponsored, endorsed, or paid for by them.
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At this point, you can arrest me.
I am guilty of all charges; I love enjoyment too much. It’s simply ludicrous.
In fact, the judge’s verdict specifies that my proclivity for enjoyment is worsened when I don’t have to spend too much to have a good time.
It’s not that I’m being cheap, it’s just that good things invariably find me – this includes a good deal.
But before I’m whisked off to God knows where they take chop-life warriors like us who love a good time a bit too much, I knew I had to share my latest exploits with you.
I may be criminal in my enjoyment, but I will never gatekeep.
You know in the movies, where the main character sips her cocktail, overlooking a city view, her skin lit in the sunset, and you can tell the sadness in her eyes is the kind that follows supremely dastardly breakfast?
Now, I’m not saying breakfast is on your tray (…yet), but that’s not the point, dear.
The point is, I’ve found where the main character is.
Moeshen cafe is tucked neatly away in Life Camp, one of the quieter residential areas in the city, a 15-minute drive from the city centre. If you were a plebeian (i.e., unfortunately uninformed) you might pass by the tall block of flats and write it off as just that; a block of flats on Abubakar Koko Avenue.
But while we at Ahmad’s Journal exist, dearest reader, you can never be uninformed, talk less of unfortunate.
The cafe itself is in the penthouse suite of the tall building, all clear glass and exposed metal beams running over the ceiling, with art pieces – paintings, sculptures, and decor – scattered throughout the space.
Moeshen Cafe
Despite its grey marble flooring, stark white walls, and minimalist furniture, in a way, Moeshen Cafe feels like the living room of that rich friend who is obsessed with collecting art and trinkets.
The space is large enough not to feel cluttered; it breathes intentionality.
Moeshen Cafe
The music was low and nondescript, and others in the cafe were doing everything from taking meetings to doing I Love You over the table (disgusting, but I digress).
It’s also hard to miss the various outdoor seating options, especially because the floor-to-ceiling glass doors quite literally pull and extend your eyes outdoors.
Outdoor seating at Moeshen Cafe
Between overlooking dense greenery and rocks to the left, the serene road leading up to the cafe facing you straight on, and a stunning view of the Abuja skyline to the right, I was spoilt for choice on where to sit and romanticize my life.
Outdoor seating at Moeshen Cafe
Outdoor seating at Moeshen cafe
I settled on indoor seating anyway, as the sun was out and Nigeria was already showing me enough shege.
As gorgeous as the cafe was, man can not survive on aesthetics alone.
Let’s get into the menu.
They had an interesting variety of foods, from avocado toast, and burger rolls, to jollof rice and chicken.
It’s the fine line between dishes familiar enough to keep you there, but not so boring that nothing stands out.
Personally, I don’t believe in going out for lunch and then getting jollof rice and chicken.
Let’s be serious. Go home and have that, please.
Also, compared to other places in the city, prices were pretty relaxed. I’m talking ₦15k for a dish and drink.
For a place as beautiful and relaxed as Moeshen, that’s good value for your money.
Anyway, what did I have? Gosh, so pushy! But here;
Four tortillas filled with beef, vegetables, and cheese served with guacamole, fries and ketchup.
The Quesadillas: 8.5/10. These were warm, hearty, and umami-packed. The tortillas were on the dry side, but the filling more than made up for it; juicy browned beef, with sweet, fresh tomatoes and crunchy bell peppers scattered throughout, and rich cheese to bring it all together, like a warm hug.
It was a reminder that sometimes the simplest flavours make tastebuds sing. I specifically loved how generous they were with the filling—chef’s kiss.
Guacamole: 7/10. I’m not a fan of avocados. Sorry. That being said, I really enjoyed this! They spruced up the otherwise bland-tasting dip with diced red onion and a dab of seasoning. It gave the dish an appreciated burst of freshness – the onions carried here – and kept things from being too rich and indulgent.
Fries and ketchup: 5/10. Well, they were fries. And ketchup. Nothing over or underwhelming, God bless them.
7/10. Per my tastes, I told them to make it extra sour, because when I’m having hearty meals like that, I like acidity to balance things out. Also, lemons boost saliva production, which helps you taste food better. Wisdom, dear.
Apart from that, it came in a skinny glass that might have seemed more than it really was, but was actually a slightly underwhelming amount. I wouldn’t have minded more. Just saying.
Total spend: ₦18,600
Remember how we said our business is to keep you from being unfortunately uninformed?
We always make good on our promises.
In the same building as the cafe, their eponymous art gallery quietly takes up space, filled with paintings, sculptures, textiles, and ceramic works from artists all over the continent.
Entrance to the Moeshen art gallery
It’s an art lover’s haven; whatever your medium, there’s something for you to appreciate.
Art from the gallery
Again, can’t you see yourself meeting the love of your life here? Or even if you’re not particularly into the art scene, taking some banging shots for Instagram?
Moeshen art gallery
The gallery is free to enter, gorgeously lit, and now you know about it.
You’re welcome.
When I entered the cafe, the gift shop quietly beckoned on the left, and I made a mental note to check it out when I left.
I don’t regret it.
The entrance to the gift shop
Awash with golden light that made the diverse array of items twinkle, I couldn’t help but go in and scrutinize their offerings.
It was my divine duty, really.
Inside the gift shop
From beaded jewellery to tea sets, organic soaps and ornate mirrors, they really put the gift in the gift shop. The prices weren’t too crazy either, though I didn’t buy anything, I saw some bracelets for around ₦4k, and they had a beginner’s painting set (stencilled canvas, paint, and brushes) for ₦15k.
The beginner’s painting set
They had a small rack of locally made tye-dye pieces that I will definitely be going back for.
The tye-dye rack
They also hold a bunch of fun events; their jazz nights, painting classes, open mics, and even live concerts, so you can tell they are really focused on the creatives, which is something I’m always looking out for.
And of course, like any respectable Abuja establishment, they have a 2-for-1 cocktail/mocktail night on Thursdays.
Honestly, Moeshen is an easy place to recommend to anyone, but I’d say it specifically caters to young creatives looking for affordable but slightly upscale experiences.
The Moeshen gift shop
From their cafe where you can dine and work, to their gallery, gift shop and a neverending stream of events, it’s for artists, remote workers, or anyone who just wants to explore a quieter, more relaxed scene than you’d get at a traditional bar, cafe, or social house.
I really enjoyed Moeshen, if you couldn’t tell. As a creative remote worker, it felt like they were calling me specifically, and I’m glad I answered. I loved how affordable the food was, and the waiters were super friendly.
Overall, a 9/10 experience. I’m holding onto my 1 because I don’t want them to get too cocky.
That’s all the tea I have on Moeshen. The police are outside my window as we speak; they will soon break it. Sigh.
Before they take me, I have one last gift for you, dear reader.
Remember our Chop Life Church Member Index in the Guava Bar review? Well, we’re growing our ministry so here’s another!
Creative hubs
Moeshen Cafe Mambaah Cafe
360 Creative Hub
Creative space Startups
The Sync Hub
Living Room Abj
Lunch Spots
Maubby’s Salad Bar
Amala Sky
Harold and Gourmet
Perp snack and bites
Art galleries
Thought Pyramid
Yenwa Art Gallery
Nike Art gallery
Port Harcourt National Museum
Museum of West African Art
