Two things have been made abundantly clear by 2024.

First, things can, in fact, get worse.

Second, if you have any faith in the national electricity grid, you might as well go and start mopping the ocean since you have so much spare energy.

The year has been hard.

Let’s not lie or front.

From the inflation that took away Nigerians’ spending power, to the country facing its “worst economic crisis in decades”, it’s safe to say that everyone felt the pinch.

But like the unstoppable force of a river, enjoyment must persist.

It simply must.

At the end of the day, if you have breath in your lungs, you can show yourself a good time.

Naturally, as sworn campaigners of mindful indulgence, we are obligated to show you enjoyment in every sense available to you.

So, Nigeria has given you a few lashings – let’s call it character development and added incentive to exercise our civic rights as democratic citizens – will you now be crying from morning till night?

Absolutely not, dear.

This is why we’ve decided to bring a good time right up to your doorstep.

You need to have a talking stage with her, get on first-name basis, romance her.

How?

Why, we thought you wanted to continue doing sufferhead.

Come along, dearest gentle reader, and lets put you on to things you can do this year-end to remind yourself that after it all, you only have yourself.

So, why not take care of what you have?

Get yourself a gift you’ve always wanted

It’s simple. When you want to make someone feel special or loved, you gift them something.

So, as the main character in your life, ideally who is most deserving of gifts?

You.

What is something you’ve had in your bookmarks and been longing for?  A pair of trousers from SGTC Clothing? Some big madam jewellery from Cool Jewelery? A new book from Fantasy Book Cafe?

A new pair of headphones from Canoon Store?

Reach into your heart – not too deeply, sha – pull out one of your desires that won’t shake the confidence of your wallet too much – minor tremors are permitted – and buy it for yourself.

And don’t feel bad too.

Don’t you remember your primary school teacher singing “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy”?

You wan dull?

Plan a staycation with friends

A staycation where you and your friends split the costs might just be the holiday you need.

Yes, yes, we know you’ve been sending pictures of Santorini to the group chat and maybe you’ve even started buying swimwear, but do you know something?

No one knows tomorrow, sometimes, live for today.

Think about it.

You and your friends – five of you – head down to Nike Lake Resort in Enugu, all contribute to paying for one room, and stay the weekend, eating complimentary breakfast and making indomie for dinner.

The lifestyle no too cost nau, haba.

There’s also Almat Farms in Abuja, The Ikogosi Warm Springs Resort in Ekiti and more in the index, so it’s not as if there are no places.

Go forth and staycation, please.

Go to a fun event

If your own good time is in a throng of people, inhaling the smell of fresh sweat, Dior Sauvage, and a particular scent only evildoers emit, or you just like a crowd and a good time sha, then you should treat yourself to a fun event.

Yes, we know Rema and Ayra Starr are also in your phone, but when you go to the market don’t you ask for original things?

Are you so content with fakes?

We know concerts can be a bit pricey, but it’s the ember months, you’ll probably get that end-of-year bonus from work, and this is a celebration of life, dear.

Pay for those tickets.

We know Rema will be in Abuja and Lagos soon, we also heard a thing or two about Lady Donli, performing soon.

Also keep an eye out for more niche artistes, as they usually have cheaper options for fans.

Stop sufferhead and embrace enjoyment today.

It doesn’t even have to be a concert, it could be anything – a rave, a house party, a live dance or drama show, a block party, a wedding, a burial, a conference… as long as na people dey there, and with the end of the year close, many of such events – not referring to burials please – are fortunately popping up.

Stuff like the upcoming Wine and Design Festival, a play or two at Terra Kulture, or if you’re with the spirit, check out Nativeland in Lagos, Carniriv in Port Harcourt and maybe even Ibadan Startup Fest if entrepreneurship and innovation really get you going.

Who knows, you might meet another real lover there.

Get a massage

Nigeria has squeezed you all year long, so the only logical way to let go of all that stress is to have an expert knead it out of you.

A good massage can even help ease feelings of anxiety and depression, as well as help with muscle pain and tightness.

So it’s actually possible for a masseuse to press your anxiety away.

Isn’t God just so good?

A massage can range anywhere from ₦10k upwards, depending on the type you want and the service provider, so, check out Halleys Beauty (Abuja), Sinams (Kano), Bfair Spa (Enugu), or ORIKI (Lagos, Port Harcourt, Ibadan).

Of course, we have some more in the index, but if we don’t have any for where you live, a quick Instagram search will probably show you a couple.

Can you feel your shoulders loosening in anticipation already?

If not, you might just be a witch.

Treat yourself to a date

Whether it’s solo, if you’re into that, or with friends, a good meal can inspire a substantial amount of joy.

Imagine you and your friends dressed in your finest, at a restaurant for dinner – yes, that one you’ve been seeing in people’s snaps – the music is floating in the back, the lighting is bright but also strategically placed and perfectly dim, and your cocktail is hitting.

Isn’t that what life is about?

It can also be relatively cheaper than other options on this list, depending on how much you’re willing to splurge on.

You should check out La Taverna (Lagos), Rodo (Abuja), Aaron’s Signature Restaurant (Enugu), Cilantro at Tahir (Kano), or The Outback Grill (Uyo).

Happiness can not be bought, but sometimes, it can be eaten.

Amen?

Friend group activity

Speaking of friends…

Chances are, the year has stretched you so thin that you didn’t have the time to catch up with friends.

So, if you want to do something other than have a meal together, look into some activities you can do together.

A group breach hangout, going to an art exhibition together, even a cute picnic where each friend brings a dish.

You could play some fun games – ahem, NIBCARD games, ahem – or just put your phones away and catch up on life.

It costs nothing.

Some people say true wealth is the relationships you’ve gathered along the way, and investing in growing this wealth looks like being intentional about spending time with the people who enrich your life.

You could even throw a house party, we kuku wrote a whole guide on exactly how to do that, so, you’re welcome.

Can you see that enjoyment is not that far from you?

It’s really the little things. If what you can do is take a long shower, clean your room and lay in bed watching movies and snacking all day, then do that, and savour it.

You don try, we sef sabi.

Anyway, to crown your enjoyment properly, we will leave you with The Spoilt Rotten Index, because if you’re going to spoil yourself, you might as well do it properly, right?

The Spoilt Rotten Index

Well, that’s all we have for you today, folks. We hope this inspires you to unclench and unwind, even if it’s just for a bit.

No be everyday war.

Before you go, what simple pleasures bring you joy? When was the last time you felt truly fulfilled by an experience, rather than depleted?

Share your thoughts in the comments below, maybe someone else is looking for further inspiration.