It wasn’t that long ago that we were recommending gift ideas for your situationships, and coincidentally (wink wink) Valentine’s Day just passed.

So, what’s one key lesson it left us with?

Love no sweet without money. 

Just kidding, just kidding.

But seriously, one thing that does make love challenging is what many Nigerian couples are currently facing: long distance.

According to an article by This Day, data released by the Nigerian Immigration Service reveals that passport issuance increased by 38% in 2021 – mostly due to more Nigerians seeking to relocate from the country.

Adding to this, Statista reported that Nigeria’s net migration rate has remained negative since the year 2000 - meaning that more people are leaving the country (emigrating) than coming in (immigrating) – and Macrotrends reveals that the current net migration rate for Nigeria in 2024 is -0.267 per 1000 population.

The net migration rate is like checking how many more people are leaving than arriving, so, if the rate is -0.267, it means that the difference between people leaving and arriving is equivalent to 3 people leaving for every 1000 people.

For comparison, Canada has a net migration rate of about 6.094% per 1000 population, so, for every 1,000 people in Canada, approximately 61 more people are arriving on average compared to those leaving.

So you can see, the situation on ground is serious.

Of course, as more seek greener pastures in other obodos, we have to recognize that to make this move is a privilege only some can afford.

Alongside spending an average of millions of Naira to relocate, as they go, they’re also leaving people behind.

Family, friends, and lovers.

These relationships are being broken, and for many such long-distance relationships, the future is neither bright nor clear.

But, despair not, gentle reader, for there might be hope yet.

We spoke to two people in two different relationships who have been physically split by the japa wave, but continue to make things work, despite the distance and maybe not-so-great odds.

We kindly dubbed them our Long Distance Relationship Warriors (LDRWs for short), as their tenacity and love for each other are – like the Naira – facing some really long odds.

(We could say it sounds like they’re winning, but that would be reductive and might be spoiling the fun, so read and listen on to find out for yourself)

So…

Meet our Long Distance Relationship Warriors

Fidel – A self-admittedly “hot-headed” engineering graduate in Nigeria, navigating the choppy waters of an 8-year-old on-and-off open relationship with his partner – who has now relocated to the USA.

Zainab – A “crybaby” who left her 2-year lover in Nigeria 6 months ago to start a new life in the UK on her own – talk about bold.

Interview question bank

Where are you currently, and where is your partner?
How and where did you meet?
How long has it been since you left each other?
Did you know the move was coming or was it sudden?
If you knew it was, how did you prepare for it? If you didn’t, what was the experience like?
Do you think you’ll ever go back?/do you think you’ll move to where they are?
What has been the hardest part of living so far away from your partner?
Why do you think your relationship has lasted through this?
How are you keeping the romance alive over distance?
How do you celebrate occasions – birthdays, christmas, eid, valentines etc – apart?
Are you thinking about what the future holds for you guys? Or is it as the future leads?
What advice would you give to other lovers that have been struck by japa?

It’s definitely a juicy one, so turn up the volume and listen.

Fidel’s responses

Zainab’s responses

There you have it. We’ve given you the expo, revealed the trade secrets, and spilt the tea, hm?

Contrary to the bad rep they get, long-distance relationships aren’t all “doomed to fail”. Sure, they aren’t the easiest, but moving away from your partner (or vice versa) isn’t a death sentence for your relationship.

Real lovers hang in there, and we support you with The LDRW Index.

It has businesses and activities both Fidel and Zainab mentioned, as well as a few recommendations lovingly put there for you and yours.

We’re too much, we know.

The Long-Distance Relationship Warrior Index

Now, tell us, are you also a long-distance warrior? What did you think of Fidel and Zainab’s stories? Could you also do long distance?

Tell us all about it in the comments below.