Serious gift ideas for your unserious relationship

We don’t mean to be somehow… but Valentine is coming, so where is your boyfriend?

Okay, okay, we’re just trolling.

But seriously, the 14th of February is fast approaching, and so is the oppression of The Singledom – The Kingdom of Singles. The days before, of, and after Valentine’s will be rife with red roses (yes, the ₦350k ones), pictures from date night, long epistles of love, and (gulp) fornication!

But enough about relationship people; let’s talk about the next best thing.

Situationships.

If you’re behind, we’ll catch you up; Situationships are a type of relationship between two people that is largely undefined; there is no boyfriend or girlfriend title and there are technically “no expectations”.

It’s a romantic and usually sexual relationship that is in the grey area between friendship and a committed relationship.

If you’re Gen Z, chances are you’re familiar with this phenomenon.

It’s a follow-come part of the experience. Factory-fitted, if you will.

A characteristic of this type of relationship – apart from danger, disaster and breakfast – is how relaxed it is. Again, no expectations. That also means that if you do too much, you might come off as over-eager or in love, and sometimes, the relationship isn’t there yet.

But what do you do when you want to show your partner you care about them on Valentine’s Day, but in a casual-ish way?

This article is for the real lovers who are in situationships.

We dey for you.

Send them money

Maybe while you’ve been busy doing situationship, you didn’t realise that the Nigerian economy is playing a game called “Bad”. Everyone’s wallets are tighter than ever, and people are watching their ₦airas like hawks.

Sending them money in this period shows that you care, but it’s not like you went out to buy a sappy gift, so it’s the perfect present – because it looks like it’s “not that deep”.

Is there a more non-committal but heart-flutter-inducing way of showing affection than sending them cold, hard cash?

We sincerely think not.

Just make sure the money you’re sending can do one or two things, not just recharge card.

So, whether it’s Pocketapp, Opay or your bank app, open it now and send them something.

(Plastic) Flowers and perfume

Let’s be very honest, the people who have money for real flowers in this economy are few and far between. With a bouquet reaching six-figure prices, buying that for someone you’re not in a “real” relationship with screams “trying too hard”.

But maybe you’re a classic Romeo who wants to make a statement – however understated – so here’s what you can do.

Buy a bouquet of plastic flowers.

Throw in a cute little perfume from The Scent Store or Essenza, and isn’t that you, Romeo? In a non-commital, casual, situationship-like way, of course.

While plastic flowers may not be as romantic as real ones, they are definitely still something you and your bae can laugh about, and they show that you’re thinking about them on Valentine’s.

Besides, real flowers will still die. But you see those plastic ones?

It’s a forever deal.

Get them a scented candle

If your partner is a homebody or is into scent or decor, you can surprise them with a candle in a scent you think they’d like. They’re relatively affordable (from around ₦10k upwards) and it’s easy to go to a store or get one online.

Or if you’re really about it, book a candle-making class for you and your bae. While it can be a fun and “bougie” activity with friends (get into this article where we discussed how to use candle-making to deceive your enemies), it can also be a cosy experience for you and your partner.

Imagine this; together in your room, it’s twilight, and you’re both on the bed – doing Bible study, of course – but there’s no light (or maybe you’re just too lazy to get up and turn them on). Instead of putting on a lamp or going to turn on the noisy gen, why not light a candle?

Romance no dey pass this one.

So, you see, getting them a candle is an act of forward-thinking. One could even call you a visionary.

We love LeLe Labs, Alora Candles and Soy Works – their candles are perfect – so don’t sleep on them.

Buy them a book

Maybe they’re a bookworm and mentioned in passing that they want to read a new title, getting it for them is a thoughtful but not too serious way of showing that you care about their wants and you pay attention to them.

Even if you can’t think of any book ideas, we’ve got you; check out our list of 2024 book recommendations.

If you’re a baller you could even open a tab for them at Roving Heights or The Ibadan Bookery, show them you really care.

Also, if you’re also a reader, getting them a book you’ve read – or reading with them – is a surefire way to make sure you never run out of conversation.

As usual, you’re welcome.

Jewellery, but no precious metals (the relationship isn’t precious enough)

Whatever their style is, most people love good jewellery pieces.

Whether it’s the Yoruba demon staple of a thin gold chain, or funky resin rings for your alte bae, it’s always a great gift.

But don’t get carried away o, no one is asking you to buy them real gold or diamonds.

Let’s all relax.

Thankfully, getting good jewellery at affordable prices isn’t a difficult feat with stores like The Black Sheep Company – they make minimalist and affordable pieces you can even customise – and AnythingPretty around.

Sha don’t give anybody an engagement ring.

A keg of petrol

What do they call petroleum again? Black gold, abi?

You may be hesitant to buy solid gold for your situationship partner, but when it’s liquid, things are different.

With the current prices of petrol – and the way it looks like they won’t be coming down any time soon – anyone who buys you fuel is seriously invested in your well-being.

While it may come off as a bit “serious”, it’s an unorthodox gift that we mostly recommend to those who know they want to get past the situationship stage and enter a proper relationship.

Please don’t buy petrol for your friend-with-benefits, we didn’t send you.

Situationship box

A situationship box is a package of gifts selected by you for your partner. It could contain anything from cakes, to jewellery, to perfume, to a card and so on.

Again, this isn’t for your average situationship, as it’s very high effort and intentional. But what is life without some risk?

If you’re truly gangster, buy everything on this list, put it in a box, and send it to them. Let them know you’re a real lover – a rare breed.

If you don’t want to go through the whole shebang yourself though, you could order premade Valentine’s packages. These typically contain stuff like wine, perfume, a card, snacks etc, with some level of customisation.

You can try UIN Confectionaries or The Gift Hut (we’ll link more in the index) for easily customizable ones.

Kuku just ask them to be in a relationship

You too aren’t you tired?

If you’re fretting over Valentine’s Day gifts, maybe it’s a sign that you care more than you think.

Reason am.

Maybe your Valentine’s gift to them should be you asking to enter a fully defined relationship with them. It’s a valid gift idea.

Now, if you decide to go down this path, chances are you’ll want to make it a bit special (and chances are they probably deserve it too), so you could order a cute lil “Will you be mine” cake – we love the ones from W’s Bakeshop – or you can order a full valentines package with all the fixings.

If you want to make it a big deal, as in, a big deal, you can take them out to dinner at a nice restaurant and arrange for the question to be popped on a dish and presented to them.

Which other romance are you looking for again?

So…

Valentine’s Day is no longer just for relationship people; we’ve cut a big slice of the cake (red velvet, of course) for situationship people as well, so it’s single people that are really on their own now.

Now that we’ve given you some (spectacular) ideas for your not-so-serious lover, what are you waiting for?

Oh, that’s right, The Situationship Index.

The Situationship Gift Index

Whether you’re in a relationship, situationship, or you’re just sending Good Morning and Goodnight to each other, we hope we have been able to convince and – not confuse – you that romance can happen in any kind of relationship.

So,

Which of our ideas will you be taking? And do you have any other ones we may have missed?

Let’s learn from each other, please.

Drop a comment.