The year is over.

You’ll soon start seeing “2023 recap” videos all over TikTok and Instagram, and you’ll hiss (loudly) because they are so annoying. You’ll hiss so loudly, your mother – who is in the other room, mind you – will hear you and say “I hope nothing?”

And you’ll tell her it’s “Nothing o” but you know it is something.

You’re annoyed because, at the start of 2023, you were gingered (sic) and motivated to grab the bull by its horns and do your best this year. You even bought that journal and a planner (you were really on that new-year-new-me grind) and had a list of things you wanted to change, do, and accomplish.

But by March life became too stressful, too hectic, too demanding. How could you go to the gym four times a week when you had a demanding 9-5? One day you said “Wo, let me rest”, and it spiralled into a pattern, and by April, your gym shoes had gathered dust.

Fast forward to December; it wasn’t a horrible year (or maybe it was) but you didn’t do anything amazing.

We know how it is – we’ve all been there.

It’s natural to want to change and become better at the start of a new year, it’s a fresh start in many ways.

Your eyes have fully opened after the daze of Detty December, and reality has set in.

According to Yahoo!life, one in 12 give up on their New Year fitness goals after just one day.

So, why is it so hard to keep to your goals?

Gather round children, and listen well.

Why people suck at achieving their New Year’s resolutions

Your goals may not actually be yours

 The first step to understanding why keeping to goals is so hard is interrogating where the desire to achieve said goal comes from. Why do you want it?

Why is it so important for you to go on vacation three times a year? Is it just about relaxation? Or are you fishing for an excuse to show on Instagram that you are having a better time than everyone else?

What’s the real reason you want a relationship in 2024? Why is it your priority? Is that your goal or one you feel pressured into having?

Of course, sometimes your desires and societal expectations/peer pressure might align, but ensure it’s healthy.

Understanding the reasons behind your desires will help you set goals that you genuinely want to achieve, and will help you keep at them for longer.

Trying to do it all at once

Imagine your goal for 2024 was to move 12 huge bags of rice from one part of your house to another (I know it sounds silly, but stay with me). That’s all you want to do and you’re determined.

Would you try and pick up all twelve bags of rice at the same time? Of course not. You carry each bag on its own till they’re all moved.

Think of your goals in the same way; It will be tough to go from a sedentary lifestyle to going to the gym five times a week and going on hikes every week.

It’s just not possible, my dear.

It’s hard to hear, but Rome really wasn’t built in a day. According to author James Clear in his book “Atomic Habits”, Most people focus on the goal, rather than the systems that lead to those goals.

Once you perfect the system, the goal will come on its own.

Bad system = Goal failure.

Good system = Goal success.

You hear?

Motivation vs Discipline

According to AskDifference, “Motivation is the emotional drive or reason for taking action, while Discipline is the self-control and routine required to take consistent action, regardless of emotional state.”

Motivation will spur you – the ginger you most likely feel right now just before the new year is motivation – but discipline is what will keep you going.

A lack of discipline is one of the reasons many don’t reach their targets.

You’ve gotten small money now, you have forgotten about the phone you are saving up to buy, and you’ve used the money to go out for drinks, you’re having fun o, but where is the discipline?

Not inside that margarita, we’ll tell you that.

Setting the bar too high for yourself (not being realistic)

If you’re someone who already has a track record of making plans and not following through (remember that year you said you’d learn French? Na so), you may just be shooting yourself in the foot by setting grand goals.

Again, very few people can go from zero to a hundred, so if you found yourself getting overwhelmed last year by the strain of all the things you wanted to do, maybe take things down a notch this year, and if you end up accomplishing the revised goals before the end of it, ramp it up again, or just set a new goal entirely.

You’re in control here.

How to set goals; What makes a good goal?

Learn from the past

Goal setting isn’t just about looking ahead; it’s also about evaluating what has worked and what hasn’t.

What helped you reach goals in the past? What are the conditions that made it happen?

Then, what are the things that have hindered you? How do you avoid, reduce, or work around them?

Use the knowledge you have now to get where you want to be.

Wisdom wisdom wisdom.

Is your goal SMART?

At this point, you’ve probably all heard of the phrase “SMART goals” (stop rolling your eyes), and it’s not just something you can use at work.

Making your goals Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-Bound – SMART – helps you narrow down your desires to a form that isn’t so hard and scary.

Before you start all the gra-gra of goal setting, the first thing you should do is figure out what matters to you, and why.

What are your long-term wants and dreams? And if that seems daunting, what are the short-term ones?

As long as you know what you want (not just what you feel like you should want), then you’re starting strong.

For example; let’s say your goal is to learn how to play the talking drum – that’s a Specific goal – you practice for at least 30 minutes a day – that’s how you Measure your progress – because your dad used to be a traditional drummer when he was your age, so he has drums that you can easily use for practice – that’s why its Acheivable – and you genuinely enjoy the art of drumming – its Relevant to you.

By the end of the year, you want to be able to play at least 10 different songs with it – that’s how it’s Time-Bound.

You get the idea?

Understand that it’s not do or die

Try and shake off that excess pressure you feel during New Year’s to move out of your parent’s house and become a trillionaire with a six-pack, a Lamborghini and two pet lions.

Let’s all just breathe.

The key is to set goals that, whatever the outcome is, you can learn and build on. Goal setting isn’t about making yourself feel like crap if you don’t accomplish them – that defeats the purpose – it’s about pushing yourself to be better.

How to keep at your goals and achieve them

Find a community

Even if it’s just a friend you tell with a similar (or not similar) goal, and you keep each other accountable, it’s a way to make sure your goals don’t live and die in your head. This is a good kind of peer pressure.

Another example of a community is Twitter (X) and Reddit; these places have billions of users combined, and you are bound to find people who share goals with you. Social Media can be a powerful tool in finding community and influencing you to pursue your goals – if you’re looking in the right places.

Tying new habits back to old ones

Forcing a new habit or system into your life – say, learning the talking drum, or drinking enough water each day – will always be difficult.

Most humans aren’t good at spontaneous change, and that’s one of the reasons why people give up on their goals – they don’t bother properly integrating them into their already existing routines.

A hack from the book ‘Atomic Habits‘ is plugging the new thing you want to start doing, into a preexisting thing – one that you already do regularly and is easy for you.

If your goal is to drink eight glasses of water a day, you could tie the first glass to brushing your teeth. Make it so that every time you brush your teeth, you know that the next step is one big glass of water, and train yourself to not do one without the other – don’t brush your teeth without drinking water, and don’t drink water without brushing your teeth.

Small small, it’ll start becoming part of you.

Just do it

It will not always be easy (let’s be real) so, even when you’re tired, even when it feels like you’re not making any progress, even when you haven’t slept all night because your neighbour’s ugly dog was busy barking all night, get up and do the thing.

Yeah, yeah, it’s cliche advice, but it works because it works; success is achieved through effort, so cultivating discipline is a great way to master your systems and achieve your goals.

On the days when you don’t feel like doing anything, tell yourself you’ll do it for five minutes.

Just five minutes, then you can stop if you like. Chances are, doing that will make you want to maintain the momentum you’ve gained in those five minutes, and you might carry on.

Some people find that putting their tasks in a calendar helps them stay disciplined, for you, it might be setting daily or weekly reminders to complete a part of your system, some people write physical reminders and put them up on their mirrors or laptop screens.

Future you will thank you for it.

It’s okay to change your goals

Just like everything else, goals can change. Maybe you achieved the goal you set before the end of the year, or maybe midway you discovered something more important to you and decided to pursue that, the point is, goals aren’t static.

It’s important to know when to pivot or drop a goal entirely, so, throughout the year, don’t stop taking stock of what’s working for you and what isn’t.

The “Follow who know road” section

Because we know how hard it can be to see your goals through, we spoke to three people who achieved their 2023 goals and asked them how they did it.

Consider it our Christmas gift to you.

Meet our respondents

 

Aaron – A fiction writer whose tenacity drove him from grass to grace (literally) this year – we’re talking thousands of dollars here.

Uche – A baker who closed her eyes, believed in herself, and ended up with almost more work than she could handle. (You can find her @uin_confectioneries on Instagram)

Sylvester – A Petroleum engineer who finally left the country this year for his master’s degree. Did someone say japa?

Interview Questions

 

What do you do and what goal did you achieve in 2023?

How did you achieve it? Did you plan towards it at the start of the year or did things just fall into place as it went?

What tools (apps, services, businesses) made it easier for you or did you use during the actualization of your goals?

Were there times you wanted to give up? What happened and how did you move past them?

What would you tell other people who are trying to achieve their goals too, in both similar fields and otherwise?

What’s your 2024 looking like?

And their responses…

The New-Year-New-Me Index

 

Here we present to you an index of resources our respondents mentioned, and some others we think will help you take 2024 by the horns, no matter your goals.

From us, to you.

 

And there you have it, folks! Now that you know how to set goals that you can crush, tell us, what do you have in mind? From making a million Naira to finally finishing that book you started two years ago, a goal is a goal, and we want to hear yours.

Let us know in the comments below.

 

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